Sometimes I think you love me. Sometimes I think you like me. Other times, I think I’m nobody to you. Yeah, this sucks.
The worst kind of writer’s block is the kind where you know what’s going to happen and how it’s going to happen and everything other single detail but for fuck’s sake, it won’t turn into words.
have you ever had a dream that was so vivid it stuck with you in the back of your mind for years?
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
"paramore was pulled off tour for a week when hayley was 16 because her mom grounded her" is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard
My dad was telling me about these girls at his old college who invented a nail polish that paints on clear, and if you stir your drink with your finger with the nail polish on, it will react with the “Date Rape” drug and turn red.
Dude. It’s genius.
sloths are cute but their skeletons are fucking creepy i mean
looks like something a nightmare pooped out